(between ourselves I can tell you I have an outstanding sheen)I’m not going to lie or waste your time and eyes in order to make you like and want me as your style guru-or even more-by telling you my trip was a success, it wasn’t.My first port of call was Primark and a place with enormous potential to deliver, but it didn’t.They only stock sizes up to 8 sadly and my school gurl error of asking innocently if they ‘have these in a size nine?’ gave the game away and the swarm of hip young zombies were alerted and I was driven from the shop by pointing legions of undead teenage girls, cackling and screeching like demented, defecating zombie Baboons as the actual real Manager hurled great handfuls of steaming excrement at mostly me but was mercifully distracted by the arrival of two clearly lost but hot zombie milf's intent on buying something young and sexy to complement their fulsome-albeit undead Middle aged bodies-and lost interest in me in order to focus his brain stem on taking them. "Oh we haven't really done anything yet, but I'm really thinking about it. I just don't know what to do. I really like this guy and I'm afraid I'll lose him if I don't sleep with him." Well let me ask you this," said Linda, "are you willing to lose your husband, if you do sleep with him?" Oh no, of course not. I'm not talking about marrying the guy, just ... you know, having a little fling." Cathy, you remember a couple years ago when Harry and I were having troubles. He actually left me for a little while ... remember?" yeah I do, but I never really knew what it was all about. You never spoke about it and I didn't want to pry." I never told anyone. I guess I was embarrassed, plus I just don't think it's anyone's business, but I want to tell you the whole story. I think you need to hear it," said Linda.Both women ordered more coffee and Linda started her story. "I'm probably no different than most of the other married women out there, after twelve years of marriage I was feeling ... I.
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